• NPR Life Kit: How to intervene when someone is harassed or attacked

    This story was originally published in May of 2021 and has been updated.

    Chances are, you've already witnessed something as a bystander. Maybe, as a kid on a playground, you saw another kid being bullied. Perhaps as a teenager at a party, you saw someone being sexually harassed. Or, as an adult on a bus, you saw someone being attacked.

    If you find yourself in a situation where you sense someone needs help and you'd like to intervene, Gabriela Mejia, a former training and communications associate with the anti-harassment training organization Right to Be, has some advice. "Show up with a way to deescalate a situation to not make it more dangerous for the person being harassed," she says.

    She shares the "5Ds" of bystander intervention, developed by Right to Be and the bystander program Green Dot.

    A comic panel reads: How to intervene when someone is harassed or attached. A comic by Connie Jin for NPR's Life Kit. If you see someone being harassed or attacked, what can you do? The image shows a person on the ground outside of a building being kicked by an attacker as two figures in the foreground look on.
     
     
    Connie Hanzhang Jin/NPR
    Gabriela Mejia is a former a training and communications associate with Right To Be, an organization seeking to end harassment in its many forms. She shared with Life Kit five options bystanders can take: distract, delegate, document, delay and direct.[Image description: Gabriela is an adult with long wavy hair wearing a dark sweater.]
     
    Cause a distraction to make the person being harassed less of a target, like asking for directions or pretending to know them. [Image description: Gabriela models various scenarios, in one she asks, "Hey, do you know where I can find a bathroom?" while in another, she pretends to know the person being harassed. In a final example, she drops a cup of coffee, saying "Whoops, dropped my drink!"]
     
    Ask for help from someone around you or an authority figure. But remember the presence of law enforcement doesn't always make people feel safer. Check with the person being harassed before calling the police in order to center their safety. [Image description: Speech bubble reading "Hey, can you help? This person is being harassed," is posed to security guards, a fellow commuter and a bus driver.]
     
    Record a video on your phone, take photos, or even write down detailed notes. Note information like date, time and place to help verify your record. Hand over what you have to the person being harassed and let them decide what to do with it. Note: local laws regarding recording someone vary.
     
    Delay, Debrief with the person being harassed after the situation is over. [Image description: Gabriela addresses an elderly man with concern, asking "Hi, I saw what happened. It was not OK. What can I do to help you feel safer?"]
     
    If you feel safe doing so, talk directly to the harasser. Name what is happening and ask them to stop. [Image description: One person grabs the arm of someone else. Gabriela speaks up from behind them, saying "Hey, that's not OK! Let go of them."]
     
    Knowing these steps doesn't guarantee you'll be ready to intervene if a moment comes. It takes practice and mindfulness to be an active bystander. So practice: imagine threatening scenarios you've witnessed or might witness, and how you could respond. You can even act out fake scenarios with a friend.
     
     
    Always remember that your goal is to deescalate harm, not be the hero of the story. It should never be about you, but instead about how you can support the person being targeted. [Image description: Gabriela and an elderly man hug each other and look off into the distance.]
     
    Connie Hanzhang Jin/NPR

    This comic, illustrated by Connie Hanzhang Jin, is based on a Life Kit episode on the same topic. The podcast version is hosted by Ruth Tam and was produced by Clare Marie Schneider. The visuals editor is Beck Harlan.

    We'd love to hear from you. Send us a note at LifeKit@npr.org.

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